I don’t see what the big deal about having a mosque near ground zero. Personally I think it is a good insurance policy against an attack. Hell I am thinking about building one next to my house. Or even making a little paper one and putting it in my pocket. Ok maybe not that, but next time some Islamic fundamentalist crazies want to blow something up they will have to take a good number of Muslims with them.
Don’t get me wrong I could careless what religion you practice, or the lack of religion you practice. I just like covering all my bases. It is the same reason why I recommend black churches to post a few white people at night to prevent the Klan from starting any fires.
I love how we give fatties a handicap tag, when instead we should be giving them a fat tag. Why should they get a spot right next to the store when they should park at the furthest away spot.
I don’t understand how people can let themselves get that huge and not think “Hey, maybe I should take this IV full of bacon out of my arm ,or what should look like an arm, and go walk a few laps around the block!” Maybe you should not buy food if you are too fat to walk to that food. We have military veterans with blown off limbs but these land whales take up their parking spots and all of the scooters just because they have lost all self control.
Walmart used to only have a few handicap spots, but now they have a whole handicap parking section. Go to any of the theme parks now and they have scooter rentals for people too fat to actually walk around the parks. Now they can scoot around from donut shops to burger bars to ice cream stores and never have to walk a step and waste calories! The roller coasters now even have their own fat-row with bigger seats/harnesses so the lard mountains can ride them. We are now catering to the lowest common denominator, it is like “no fatty left behind”
A ban on phosphates, the hardworking and good main ingredient in most automatic dishwasher detergents, takes effect in 16 states on July 1st, however this ban will become a de facto ban everywhere. Procter & Gamble and other major manufactures have decided to removed all phosphates from all consumer dishwasher detergents. I feel that P&G did this for three reasons, 1 they will look eco friendly to their Al Gore loving, hippie, baby boomer target market. This brings us to 2 and 3, the real reasons why P&G removed phosphates. The cost of phosphates has dramatically increased over the past few years. The other real reason why P&G removed phosphates is to simplify their supply chain. Why have two different detergents when you can just have one and enjoy the cost savings. The ban is just a smoke screen for P&G to save money and to charge you more. However what this mean for you and me is dirty dishes.
Dirty Dishes - Won't Wash Off
I learned this the hard way. A few weeks ago I noticed a white film that would not come off my dishes. I first looked on the internet to see what was going on. I quickly learned that the hippies got phosphate banned because it can cause algal blooms in our waterways. Granted we can filter out most of this phosphate before it gets in our waterways, but this did not stop the hippies from banning it because anything man-made is bad in their book.
At this point I called up P&G and asked them if I can still buy phosphate dishwasher detergent. They started to proudly say that they don’t sell any products with phosphate in it. I quickly interjected, by saying that I am not some eco hippie and I WANT phosphate. The P&G customer support rep was unsure how to answer this request. I think he was told not to answer my question, but he gave me two free coupons for any cascade product so that was cool. Granted I can’t buy anything that will clean my dishes with them at any retail store.
I did find one way around this ban. Because the ban only affects consumer products, you can buy the commercial detergent with the cleaning power of good old phosphate. I found a wholesaler called ReStockit.com and I bought a case. My dishes are clean again. You can see if your P&G product still has phosphate by going to this site The MSDS Page Search.
Soon we will be told what cars we can buy. Oh I forgot that day is already here.
“The Industry Thinks We’re All 17-Year-Old Douchebags”
When will game developers realize that the market has expanded a lot in the last 15 years? The same 17 year old douchebags that were around 10-15 years ago are now 27-35 year old that still play video games. Maybe we don’t play hours and hours like before, but we have more income now and we will play when our wives are watching Grey’s Anatomy.
I kind of feel bad for today’s generation because they never had to look for porn. That time in almost every kids life when he finds a hidden porn stash is almost as important as learning how to ride a bike. Waiting for your parents or for your brother to leave so you can quickly run into their room and take a quick peek at their stash should be a highlight of any teenager boys life. You might have been as ballsy to try to buy a magazine at the local 7-11, but most likely you knew a friend, and despite his flaws you were always nice to him because he was your only source.
However, times have changed. Teens just have to get on their computer, that more often than not is in their room and easily go to their favorite free site. Where is the work in that? Little danger and definitely no work. It is not only porn, but everything in life today is easy for kids today. Mommy, or a fucking maid cleans their room. Johnny can’t have a job because school is too important, and even for that we give him a tutor and force the teachers to be soft on him. Research projects today are nothing more than quick Google search. Life is too easy for them.
Please don’t bring your kids to Vegas. It is an adult town for adult people. People get drunk, gamble, use bad language, and have sex. The street is covered with hooker ads. Please do everyone a favor and drop the kids off a grandmothers house before you leave. I had to see a trashy couple change their kids diaper right in front of me at a buffet, fuck that shit.
Rescue dogs are great dogs, but don’t feel like you have to get guilt tripped into getting one. There is nothing wrong with spending YOUR money on purebred or on any other kind of dog you want. Just make sure you are buying the pup from a good breeder and you better know how and are able to take care of it.
Unfortunately, people will look down on you for buying a dog. They will tell you hey why did you buy a dog when there are tons of dogs that could use a good home. When did it come my job to bailout bad dog owners. I understand that the dogs are innocent victims here, but I wish that PETA and others would go after these bad owners as much as they try to make me feel guilty. Why must we bailout everyone now days? Banks, now dog owners, who is next? What happened to personal responsibility? I am not advocating that we should never help out people, but enough is enough and it is time for people to be held accountable and not bailed-out.
The mortgage market may have speed up the job loss but this crisis has been brewing for a long time. The bottom line is that we don’t need as many people to do the same job as 50 or even 20 years ago. Add in the fact that we don’t make nearly as much stuff as we used to and the global economy is moving jobs away from the US it is a no no-brainer that unemployment is around (20%) not the fake number of around 10% that our government tells us. There is nothing you can do about it besides try to be one the lucky ones that has the skill set to compete in this workplace, or just be fucking hot and marry rich because that will always work. The global economy is great if you are poor but if you are one of the richer countries it sucks because your wealth will get sucked away. True on a overall sum it is better for everyone, but try telling that to someone who has no job.
Who are these people and how do I become one of them. For those who don’t know what I am talking about there are these people that never have a job but for some reason can travel everywhere. I have a job that pays ok, but I never get to travel because I have to pay my rent instead of going to a trip to Vegas (Update I did go to Vegas the other week). These people always have the latest cell phones, computers, and other toys while I am watching what I spend. They either have to be hugely in debt or have rich parents, but either way I hate them.
I hate having vegetarians over for the holidays. You have to make them something special when they come over, but they never cook you anything special when you come over. They think they deserve some special dish that takes you an additional hour to cook that no one else will eat besides that one vegetarian. Why do vegetarians feel that they are entitled to a special meal? A vegetarian would never cook their guess a “special” meat dish despite the fact that everyone there besides themselves eats meat. Then you have to listen to their reason why they don’t eat meat. You heard it all before. It is healthier, greener, and how can anyone harm a cute little animal? I can harm it by turning on the oven to 450 degrees and roasting it to a yummy goodness.
How low can they go? MGD 64, 55 Bud Select. Wow sounds great, I can drink beer and not get fat. No one wants to get fat, but I bet most people would like to somewhat feel the effects of alcohol. This is the reason why I can’t stand all the new ultra low cal beers like Bud Select 55, Beck’s Premier Light, and MGD 64. I know not everyone wants to get wasted, but you can’t even get somewhat drunk off these beers. I did the BAC calculation for MGD 64 that only has 2.8% alc. If I were to drink 6 beers in one hour I would only have a BAC of .069. (I am 180lbs). That is just a fucking joke if someone can still drive after drinking 6 beers in less than one hour. So drink these ultra low cal beers all you want, just know you are drinking beer that has less alcohol than Utah Beer.
Alcohol has a lot of calories and there is no way you can get around it. The question you should be asking what drink has the best punch for the calories? Any vodka and club soda or diet coke has a good bang per calorie. A low calorie beer that I really like is Michelob Ultra Amber, with ABV 5.0%, 114 calories, 3.7g carbs, 1.1g protein and 0.0g fat, per 12 oz bottle, it taste solid and it can actual get you drunk too. So next time you see one of those witty MDG 64 beer commercial comparing their beer to another drink, ask them to compare their alcohol instead.
Are you sick of all those dumb cash for gold commercials? Yeah me too. Gold is around $1200 per oz, this is very over priced. Yes gold is a hedge against inflation and the falling dollar, but when you can’t listen to the radio or watch the TV for more than 10 minuets without seeing a buy gold or cash for gold commercial, it is time to short gold or at least get out of the gold market. I call it the beanie baby effect. When your crazy aunt back in in the 90s was paying $400-$600 for a stupid stuffed animal you know things are wrong. The same thing happened during the internet and housing bubble. When everyone is talking out it, it is high time to get out. When you can’t explain why something is so expensive it means that is over priced.
More people would rather fuck Palin than vote for her
You got to love Sarah Palin. She has absolutely no hope of becoming president let alone becoming local dog catcher, but the media loves for her for the lone fact that she is nothing more than a great train-wreak. Any half way serious reporter knows she has no chance of even winning one state in the GOP presidential nomination race, but yet they keep on giving her media time. Sarah Palin is nothing more than comic relief, If you poll most Americans on what they think about Sarah Palin here is what they would say. Stupid, quitter, crazy, and MILF. That is 3 negatives and 1 positive if you want to become a middle age porn star. Like I said you got to love Sarah Palin. You know the GOP deep down hates her, but unfortunately the GOP has courted these very similar women as the backbone of the Republican party so they don’t dare publicly dis her. Not that anyone can stop her now that she has gone rogue. Is it just me but when I think of Sarah Palin going rogue I think of her of not wearing any underwear. Perhaps this is her MILF factor coming into play again. Keep on going Sarah Palin, because America is laughing at you and not with you.
Twilight sucks ass. I will admit that I have not read any of the books. I have watched one of the moves and I had to force myself to drink as many vodka and cokes as possible to get through my pain. If twilight was just crappy I would not have a problem, because hey there is a lot of shitty stuff out there. No, my problem is that is makes your wife or girlfriend think you should become Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen is basically your woman’s wet dream. He is sweet, chivalrous, and whipped. He could bang other hotter chicks that would give him the best deep throat action in the world, but he would rather cuddle. You see the problem, Edward is the opposite of yourself. There is no way you can complete against some mystical nice guy that can fly and likes to cuddle.
My wife wants me to dress up as Edward Cullen for Halloween so I can “be an accessory” to her Bella Twilight costume. Fuck me.
I was at a party the other week and others shunned me for not balancing my checkbook? First who uses a checkbook anymore besides old women at grocery stores? and why must you waste time making sure that your debt and credits match up each month? The quick answer is that you don’t. It is 2009 and we are still teaching our kids how to balance their checkbook. Once again our education system is 20 years behind the times. Thanks to programs like Quicken or even better the free online program to manage your money Mint.com you never have to “balance” your checkbook again.
It is very easy to do. You just setup an account at mint.com and then add all of your account information for checking, savings(don’t get me started why there is still a difference between savings and checking, but that’s for another post). You can even add your retirement account info. After you have everything setup all you have to do is make sure that your purchases are correctly posted. I recommend using your debt/credit card over cash to help keep track better, unless you are going to the strip club and you don’t want your wife or girlfriend to find out about it
Hooters is overrated. I know it is sort of blaspheme to say something like this, but there I said it. You have self absorbed women that give you shitty service and think they deserve some big tip because they think they are good looking. The majority of them are not that hot, unless you go to one next to a college. The 911/ 3 mile island sauce is medium at best and I don’t even like hot food that much. I will give them that their beer is always ice cold. Why guys give these girls outrageous tips is beyond me. Look they don’t care about you and they give you shitty service, why tip them 1000%? They are basically strippers that will tease you and take your money just like that high school slut that cheated off you in math class.
Don’t get me started about that damn holder in front of her pussy. Damn thing is always hiding some quality camel toe.
I always enjoy playing team fortress 2 but the one thing I dislike is that it is difficult to drink and play at the same time because of the non stop action. In counter strike you can at least get killed and drink until the next round starts. However one team fortress class is the better drinking class and that is the engineer. Granted some spy will sap your sentry while you are sipping your rum and coke, but overall it is the best drinking class in the game.
I used to be able to blend in on a college campus. Not anymore. Perhaps if I still sport the college hat to cover my balding hair I might still pass. I realized my days are numbered when I had to play handyman for my wife’s sorority a month ago.
I don’t see what the big deal about having a mosque near ground zero. Personally I think it is a good insurance policy against an attack. Hell I am thinking about building one next to my house. Or even making a little paper one and putting it in my pocket. Ok maybe not that, but next time some Islamic fundamentalist crazies want to blow something up they will have to take a good number of Muslims with them.
Are you sick of all those dumb cash for gold commercials? Yeah me too. Gold is around $1200 per oz, this is very over priced. Yes gold is a hedge against inflation and the falling dollar, but when you can’t listen to the radio or watch the TV for more than 10 minuets without seeing a buy gold or cash for gold commercial, it is time to short gold or at least get out of the gold market. I call it the beanie baby effect. When your crazy aunt back in in the 90s was paying $400-$600 for a stupid stuffed animal you know things are wrong. The same thing happened during the internet and housing bubble. When everyone is talking out it, it is high time to get out. When you can’t explain why something is so expensive it means that is over priced.
Twilight sucks ass. I will admit that I have not read any of the books. I have watched one of the moves and I had to force myself to drink as many vodka and cokes as possible to get through my pain. If twilight was just crappy I would not have a problem, because hey there is a lot of shitty stuff out there. No, my problem is that is makes your wife or girlfriend think you should become Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen is basically your woman’s wet dream. He is sweet, chivalrous, and whipped. He could bang other hotter chicks that would give him the best deep throat action in the world, but he would rather cuddle. You see the problem, Edward is the opposite of yourself. There is no way you can complete against some mystical nice guy that can fly and likes to cuddle.
? First who uses a checkbook anymore besides 
