Monthly Archives: October 2009

Twilight Makes Women Suck

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Twlight SucksTwilight sucks ass.  I will admit that I have not read any of the books.  I have watched one of the moves and I had to force myself to drink as many vodka and cokes as possible to get through my pain.  If twilight was just crappy I would not have a problem, because hey there is a lot of shitty stuff out there.  No, my problem is that is makes your wife or girlfriend think you should become Edward Cullen.  Edward Cullen is basically your woman’s wet dream.  He is sweet, chivalrous, and whipped.  He could bang other hotter chicks that would give him the best deep throat action in the world, but he would rather cuddle.  You see the problem, Edward is the opposite of yourself.  There is no way you can complete against some mystical nice guy that can fly and likes to cuddle.

My wife wants me to dress up as Edward Cullen for Halloween so I can “be an accessory” to her Bella Twilight costume.  Fuck me.

Who Balances Their Checkbook Anymore?

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I was at a party the other week and others shunned me for not balancing my checkbookcheckbook?  First who uses a checkbook anymore besides old women at grocery stores?  and why must you waste time making sure that your debt and credits match up each month?  The quick answer is that you don’t.  It is 2009 and we are still teaching our kids how to balance their checkbook.  Once again our education system is 20 years behind the times.  Thanks to programs like Quicken or even better the free online program to manage your money Mint.com you never have to “balance” your checkbook again.

It is very easy to do.   You just setup an account at mint.com and then add all of your account information for checking, savings(don’t get me started why there is still a difference between savings and checking,  but that’s for another post).  You can even add your retirement account info.  After you have everything setup all you have to do is make sure that your purchases are correctly posted.  I recommend using your debt/credit card over cash to help keep track better, unless you are going to the strip club and you don’t want your wife or girlfriend to find out about it

Hooters Overrated

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Hooters Pussy Blocker

Hooters Pussy Blocker

Hooters is overrated.  I know it is sort of blaspheme to say something like this, but there I said it. You have self absorbed women that give you shitty service and think they deserve some big tip because they think they are good looking. The majority of them are not that hot, unless you go to one next to a college. The 911/ 3 mile island sauce is medium at best and I don’t even like hot food that much. I will give them that their beer is always ice cold.  Why guys give these girls outrageous tips is beyond me.  Look they don’t care about you and they give you shitty service, why tip them 1000%?  They are basically strippers that will tease you and take your money just like that high school slut that cheated off you in math class.

Don’t get me started about that damn holder in front of her pussy. Damn thing is always hiding some quality camel toe.

Team Fortress Drinking

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I always enjoy playing team fortress 2 but the one thing I dislike is that it is difficult to drink and play at the same time because of the non stop action.  In counter strike you can at least get killed and drink until the next round starts.  However one team fortress class is the better drinking class and that is the engineer.  Granted some spy will sap your sentry while you are sipping your rum and coke, but overall it is the best drinking class in the game.

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